WrestleMania XXVI will come to you from the University of Phoenix Stadium in Glendale, Arizona on March 28, 2010.
The original theme for "The Granddaddy of Them All" was "Destruction in the Desert," but the WWE has continued their trend of rewriting things.
The new theme, adhering to the whole PG movement, is now "Delight in the Desert."
In light of the new theme the WWE held a press conference yesterday to reveal the new plans. Vince McMahon, John Cena, and Rey Mysterio were on hand to represent the company.
"Mr. McMahon, Dave Seltzer here. The change in theme is due to the PG Era that the WWE is currently in. What exactly are the plans for "Delight in the Desert?"
"Good question, Mr...Seltzer, is it?" replied Mr. McMahon. "Well, many have questioned this whole PG thing that we at the WWE are doing and I felt that this was the proper place to show we mean business. WrestleMania is the grandest stage and we plan to put on the biggest kid-friendly and kick ah...butt show on the planet.
"We've partnered up with Disney Channel and have Demi Lovato singing "America the Beautiful." The National Anthem will be sung by The Jonas Brothers. And we have a special attraction match: a triple threat affair between Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez, and Taylor Swift."
"Well, what about the hardcore wrestling fans, Mr. McMahon?" asked Seltzer.
"What about 'em?"
"Well, don't you think this might turn them off?"
"Is this guy the only guy that's going to ask questions here? Alka Seltzer, I'm going to find out who your boss is, buy the company he owns and fire you," spewed Mr. McMahon.
"We might have a few hardcore fans tune out, but you have to think how many casual fans and fans of those kids who will tune in.
"We're looking towards the future here in the WWE. We want to hook fans from their young so they grow with us as we grow. That is why the upcoming WrestleMania will be sponsored by, none other than, Huggies."
"Joe Burgett of Joe's 411.com here, Mr. McMahon. Don't know if you know but according to the PWTorch, I'm No. 8 when it comes to wrestling news but I believe I'm at least No. 3, just sayin'," said Burgett.
"OK, do you have an actual question?" asked Mr. McMahon.
"No," answered Burgett. "I was just sayin'."
Mr. McMahon turns and whispers in the ear of one of the security officers. Instantaneously, Burgett is carried out by two burly and intoxicated individuals: one with a long beard and a thick Australian accent, the other wearing a shirt with the name Ray B. by the left chest pocket.
"Mr, McMahon, Mr. McMahon, over here," waved a reporter. "Tommy Cochran of Legacy Entertainment. Will we be seeing Triple H in some capacity at WrestleMania?"
"Well, of course. What kind of silly question is that?" asked Mr. McMahon. "He's my son-in-law. He'll definitely be at 'Mania. The plan right now is to have him versus Randy Orton in some type of match every PPV up until 'Mania and we'll finally have the blow-off match there."
"Yes, Mr. McMahon, I have a question. My name is D. Sizzle," stated an individual towards the back. "Any news on the Hall of Fame inductions? I hope to God that some rabid wolverine guy isn't up for consideration."
"Hell, NO! Such a person does not exist, nor have they ever existed in WWE's history."
"Good, good to know, sir," piped up D. Sizzle. "Oh, by the way, Kofi Kingston for champ. That is all."
"Right," said Mr. McMahon sarcastically. "Now, before I turn it over to Superman, I mean John Cena, I just wanted to add one more bit of news. There will be no matches for either women's title at 'Mania. Instead, I have hired some members of the High School Musical staff and they, along with the Divas, will put on a show no one has ever seen before.
"It's not like anyone cares about women wrestling any way. Having them dance is 10 times more entertaining. With that, I give you, John Cena."
John Cena stands and salutes the reporters who stare back at him confused.
"The...champ...is...here," shouted Cena into the microphone.
"Yes, obviously, you are the champ," stated a reporter. "You're forever in the title picture."
"You want some?" demanded Cena towards the reporter. "Then come get some!"
"I'll pass on that offer, thank you very much, Mr. Cena. My name is Mr. Le Blanc, founder and owner of RNN," said the reporter. "We've seen you take on some tremendous challenges over your career: rapping, acting, and wrestling. You've somehow managed to find success while failing at all three. What should we expect at WrestleMania XXVI from you?"
"You know," Cena said, his voice low, "you may be right. You may actually be right. [voice rises, only to lower and rise again] But I don't care. I don't like you and I won't ever like you, but to be honest I respect you.
"Why do I respect you? I don't know. I just always seem to respect my challengers and you are now challenging me.
"I'm going to go to WrestleMania and, if I'm not champion, I'm leaving as champion. If I am champion, I'm leaving as champion. Whether I've got to go through one, two, six men, a lemur, a Kodiak bear, and the popcorn vendor, I will deliver an Attitude Adjustment to them all...at the same time. Because I am John Cena, and I don't lose at PPVs."
"Ah, Mr. Mysterio, Daris Brown of Hit the Ropes Radio," said Mr. Brown. "At WrestleMania XXV you won the Intercontinental Championship. Currently, you are the IC champ. Do you think you can possibly hold the belt until the next WrestleMania?"
"Rey Mysterio has taken on all challengers," started Mysterio. "Chris Jericho tried to take off my mask and failed. The others will fail as well. Un perro hizo piz en mí. Quiero no acostarse y mirar Mundo Verdadero. Necesito para utilizar el quarto de baño. Mysterio is a warrior."
Many in the audience are confused and are trying to find out what was said in Spanish.
"Damnit, Rey, I said we only speak English here in the WWE," snarled Mr. McMahon.
"Um, yeah, Rey, I speak some Spanish myself," said Mr. Le Blanc, "and if I'm not mistaken, you mentioned a dog peeing on you, you wanting to stay up to watch Real World, and you need to use the bathroom. What do those things have to do with my question?"
"Oh, you speak Spanish?" asked Mysterio sheepishly.
"All right, that's it, the press conference is over," said Mr. McMahon, trying to act calm. He puts on a forced smile. "WrestleMania XXVI will be the biggest WrestleMania yet. Thank you."
[He turns and whispers to Mysterio but the sentence is picked up by the mic] "You speak Spanish one more time and you'll be losing that title to Hornswoggle in a Hog Pen Match."
